


let's watch the sunset

by reypava



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Coming Out, F/F, M/M, also poe is a good wingman, and I am A Lesbian, none of them are straight, they all love each other and are best friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-26
Packaged: 2018-05-13 01:33:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5689447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reypava/pseuds/reypava
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's always scary to find out more about yourself, especially when you're already dealing with way too much. In such a short time, Rey has gone from a scavenger to a Jedi. As if that's not isolating enough, she's having feelings that she doesn't have words to describe (or she does, but she doesn't want to admit it). She feels confused and alone, and her first- and best- friend is in a coma. </p>
<p>Still, though, she thinks she got a pretty lucky break.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Rey is sitting by Finn’s bed, holding his hand, looking down at his closed eyes. She thinks for a second that he looks so peaceful, but then she remembers how he got there. Finn is lying on his back now, at least, so Rey can’t see his injuries when she instinctively looks down at his torso. She remembers his screams of pain before he was unconscious, and she has to force herself to look away. He is in a coma because he was trying to help Rey.

Because Finn, as he has been doing since they first met on Jakku, was protecting her.

Rey begins to feel tears well up in her eyes, along with a feeling of pain in her chest. She wishes that he would just wake up. She wishes that he had never been hurt in the first place. She looks down at Finn again and pays careful attention to the slow rise and fall of his chest as he breathes.

For one awful moment, she wishes that she could hate him, or that they had never met. The confusion is too much for her. Rey had never had a friend before meeting Finn. Rey had never known the feeling of being loved, or loving someone, or being willing to sacrifice everything for someone. She wonders if this is what attraction is supposed to feel like, but as soon as the thought crosses her mind, she knows it can’t be true. She had never loved a man before, not in any way that she should. And seeing all of the women at the Resistance base…well, that isn’t helping.

But Rey loves Finn, and he loves her. Why can’t that be enough for her? Why does it matter that every time she imagines a man touching her, she feels sick to her stomach? She looks down at Finn’s hand in her own. This, she doesn’t mind. His hand is cold, and she can feel his pulse- weak, but stable- against her palm. It is comforting. As long as Finn’s hand is in her own, she knows that he’s still alive. Some part of her mind whispers that she’s just faking, she’s just confused, that everyone feels awful when they think about kissing someone, that holding Finn’s hand is proof that she really could be in a relationship with a man.

Rey is so lost in her thoughts that she doesn’t hear the hesitant footsteps, a chair being pulled to the opposite side of Finn’s bed. She hears someone clear their throat and looks up to see Poe Dameron. His hair is messy, and he has _horrible_ dark circles under his eyes. When Rey looks at him, he offers a tired smile.

“Hi,” Poe says, half-raising a hand to wave at her.  
  
“Hi,” Rey says. She tries to return a smile, but she thinks it is probably unconvincing. There is a moment of awkward silence. Rey has never had a chance to really talk to Poe, but here they are, both sitting by Finn’s side. Poe glances down at Finn and takes a breath.

“How…” he starts, frowning and looking at Rey.

“Still not awake,” she says, bluntly. Rey winces; she had sounded much more impatient than she had intended. She has been sitting in silence by Finn’s bed for too long.

Poe shakes his head. “No, that’s not…” He sighs and shakes his head again. “I mean, how are you?”

Rey’s eyes widen. She is _really_ not used to this “people caring about how she feels” thing. “Oh.” Poe remains silent, waiting for her answer. He’s genuinely concerned about Rey, and somehow, she feels touched and uncomfortable at the same time.

“I’m…” she pauses. _Confused? Scared?_ For a second, she sees the worry in his eyes and considers telling him the truth. How would he react? Poe Dameron is basically a complete stranger to her. She can’t just pour out her entire soul to him. No, that would be too dangerous. Too vulnerable. She shifts uncomfortably. “I’m fine,” she finishes, flatly.

Poe is unconvinced, but he doesn’t say anything. Rey looks back down at Finn. She absentmindedly brushes her thumb back and forth across Finn’s hand. Poe feels a pang of jealousy in the pit of his stomach, which is replaced almost immediately by extreme guilt. Rey knows Finn better than he does. He wants them to be happy; he wants _Finn_ to be happy, but he still can’t help wishing that he had been able to spend more time with Finn before he…

Poe realizes that he is staring at Finn’s hand in Rey’s, so he tears his attention away to look at Rey’s face. He sees the tears in her eyes, sees her raise a hand to wipe them away. Poe feels as if he should say something. He wants- needs- to make her feel better.

Poe opens his mouth to speak and feels panic rise in his chest when he hears himself ask, “Do you love him?”

Rey’s shoulders tense.

“What?” she says without looking up at Poe. She is completely still.

“I’m- I’m so sorry,” Poe stutters. “I don’t know why I asked that. I didn’t mean to ask that; that was so rude, I’m-”

Rey sighs and lets go of Finn’s hand. She looks up to see Poe, his face red with embarrassment, looking like he wants to get the hell out of the room as quickly as possible. He is still trying to stutter out an explanation. The look on his face is enough to make Rey burst into a fit of laughter. And she is still crying. Now, Poe is even less sure of what to say. He decides on shutting up and waiting for her to speak.

Rey’s laughing calms down after a few seconds, and, in a strained, teary whisper, she says, “I don’t know what I feel.”

Poe listens intently. He doesn’t have enough information to formulate a comforting response, but he wants to know what Rey means. He nods, encouraging her to go on.

“I mean, of course I love Finn. Of _course_ I do, but…” she looks away, not wanting to make eye contact with Poe, and lowers her voice even more, “I don’t think I can love men like that. Like you mean.”

Rey crosses her arms, feeling self-conscious. “It’s different with him. I can hold his hand, kiss him on the forehead, and I feel fine. I’ve never… felt like this about a man before, but,” she chuckles and wraps her arms even more tightly around herself, “sometimes I think about kissing him and I just…don’t feel anything at all.”

Poe grins. “And you feel differently about women?”

Rey raises her eyebrows in surprise, and she nods at Poe very quickly. “Yeah, that’s exactly right. Why- why are you smiling?”

“Because,” Poe says, gently, “you’re in good company here.”

“What?” Rey says again. This time, her shoulders are more relaxed.

“Rey, I’m gay.”

It takes her a moment to process, and then she is smiling. “Oh. That’s why you asked me if I-”

Poe’s smile is replaced with the previous look of panic. “Oh, _please_ don’t tell him about that when he wakes up.”

Rey giggles. “Don’t worry,” she says. She wipes the remaining tears from her face. She thinks for a second, and then _she_ is panicking again. “You can’t tell anyone about this. Promise me.”

Poe raises his eyebrows. He had never seen someone in the Resistance be scared to be out. He always forgets how isolated people could feel, how scared and confused and alone. His face softens as he says, “I promise,” He pauses and crosses his arms, “but, for your information, I know at least one woman who has told me, on _way_ too many occasions, that she thinks you’re really cute.”

“Who?” Rey says, almost too hopefully.

“Jess Pava,” he says, and Rey’s heart skips a beat because she has _seen_ Jessika Pava and her _eyes_ and the way she _smiles…_ Rey blushes and hides her face in her hands.

Poe nearly doubles over in laughter. “I’ll have to introduce you two, some time.”

“ _Please_ do.”

The dark circles under Poe’s eyes seem to have, somehow, in the short amount of time he has spent talking to Rey, completely disappeared. He looks younger- less worried, less guilty. He smiles, and he reaches down to hold Finn’s hand.

And so does Rey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my first fic! i'm going to try to update this regularly. apologies if it's not that great, but i'd love to hear some feedback! i wrote most of this in the middle of the night, and i am too afraid to go over it and do editing... also, the title is courtesy of my friend. it's silly but it actually is really accurate to what this story is about. Amazing. i hope that this sort of helps quench your thirst for femslash


	2. Chapter 2

Poe Dameron has always been one to quickly fulfill his promises; this is something that nearly everyone who knows him can confirm.

Rey, of course, doesn’t know Poe all that well. So when she sees him, with Jessika Pava, walking over to her at lunch the next day, she is completely unprepared.

Rey sees Poe laughing, walking in her direction. At first, Rey doesn’t see why he’s laughing. Then, she sees a woman walking beside him. Her hands are out in front of her, and she is speaking animatedly, presumably in the middle of a story. Rey doesn’t recognize her at first. Her hair is down, and she isn’t wearing an orange jumpsuit. As the two move closer, Rey gets a better look at her face.

And she feels her heart stop for a second. It’s Jessika. Jessika Pava, wearing a white tank top and gray sweatpants. Her hair is messy. It looks like she had just taken her hair out of a ponytail and didn’t have time to brush it. Her skin is glistening. Rey realizes after a moment that Jessika is covered in sweat; she was probably working out before Poe found her.

This thought draws Rey’s attention to Jessika’s arms, which are still being used to emphasize certain parts of her story. They are...nice. Really nice. As Jessika’s arms move in front of her, Rey notices her muscles, flexing and relaxing as she stretches them out, draws them back in toward her torso. The D’Qar sun reflects on Jessika’s skin, and Rey becomes strangely entranced by watching the highlights and shadows shift on her forearms as she walks.

Jessika is so beautiful.

And Rey realizes that she’s fucked.

Rey looks away from Poe and Jess walking toward her, trying to pretend that she hadn’t been staring at Jess a second ago. She hears Poe call out to her. She looks back at him, trying to look surprised. He waves at her and shoots her a friendly smile. He touches Jessika’s shoulder, and she looks at Rey.

Jessika stops telling her story very suddenly, and her eyes widen. She looks...panicky? She turns to look at Poe. She says something that Rey can’t make out. Poe says something back, nodding, narrowing his eyes, and then raising his eyebrows. He laughs, and Jessika punches him in the shoulder. Her face is red. Poe laughs again, and he practically pulls her toward Rey.

“Rey! Hey, buddy!” Poe says as he sits down across from Rey. Rey smiles. Despite the feeling of her heart pumping rapidly in her chest, she thinks it’s sweet that Poe thinks of her as a _buddy._ A little warning would have been nice, she thinks, for both her and Jess, but he’s trying to _set them up._ Because they’re his buddies.

“Hey, Poe,” Rey replies. Her voice is a little shakier than she was hoping for, but she’s keeping her cool, for now.

Poe squeezes Jessika’s forearm, and she sits down. He smiles at her, and he says, “Rey, this is Jess. Jess, this is-”

“Rey,” Jessika finishes. Her voice is soft, and she is still blushing. There is a tiny smile on her face, like she’s slowly getting over the shock, and realizing that she’s finally going to talk to the girl she has been thinking about non-stop since she first saw her. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Jessika seems to relax a bit, placing her arms out on the table in front of her. She puts one hand in front of her for Rey to shake. Rey takes Jess’s hand. Rey’s hands are covered in calluses, hardened by years of hard work. Jess wonders what her life was like on Jakku, what she went through. She makes a mental note- ask Rey about herself, later. Find out everything she can about Rey. Open up to her, too.

They spend about thirty seconds like this, examining each other’s faces. Poe stares at them, grinning, trying not to laugh. They’re definitely forgetting that he’s there. This is going perfectly.

Rey pulls her hand away. Jessika, after the initial euphoria that came from touching Rey’s hand, is suddenly hyper aware of the fact that she looks like shit. She wishes that Poe had given her some kind of indication of where he was taking her when he interrupted her workout. Her hair is messy, she’s covered in sweat, and she’s wearing an old tank top and sweatpants. She’s guessing she doesn’t look all that impressive.

Rey, on the other hand, looks _perfect._ Her shoulder-length, brown hair is down, little waves framing her face. She is wearing a white tunic, with a low neckline exposing her collarbones and loose sleeves that are rolled up to her elbows, and beige leggings tucked into new boots, Resistance-issued. Her freckles are _adorable,_ and- is she blushing?

She’s definitely blushing, which makes Jessika nervous again, somehow.

Poe clears his throat and makes a move to get up from the table.

“Where are you going?” Jess and Rey ask at the same time. Jessika holds him in place, one hand holding his arm as tightly as she can. He _can’t_ leave her alone.

“I, uh, just remembered. I have a thing,” Poe says, not making any attempt to hide that he doesn’t have a thing.

Jess glares at him, silently pleading for him to stay put. “You _said_ that you wanted to hang out.”

Poe grins at her, shrugging and pulling away from her tight grip on his forearm. “Sorry, Testor. We can hang out later.” He stands up and claps her on the shoulder. “Important things to do.” He turns to grin at Rey behind Jessika’s back, and he gives her a wink and a thumbs-up with his free hand. “Keep her company for me, Rey.” With that, he walks away.

Jessika turns around to watch him leave. When he is too far away to continue glaring at, she sighs. She turns back around to look at Rey, and she is smiling. Rey smiles back.

“Does he always introduce his friends like that, or is he up to something?” Rey asks, cocking an eyebrow. It’s obvious that she already knows the answer.

Jess laughs. “No, he’s definitely up to something.” She rolls her eyes, fondly, and pulls a hair tie from her wrist. “Sorry,” she adds as she pulls her hair into a loose bun.

“No, it’s alright,” Rey replies. She glances down at her hands, which are clasped together on her lap, before quietly adding, “I’ve been wanting to meet you for a while, anyways.” When Rey looks up to gauge Jessika’s reaction, she sees Jessika’s hands frozen at the top of her head, her eyes wide.

“Oh,” Jessika says after a moment, snapping out of her surprise and smiling, “well, I’ve been wanting to meet you, too.” Jessika leans forward, her elbows on the table, and rests her chin on her hands. She narrows her eyes and tilts her head to the side in a way that makes Rey jump a little bit.

Rey clears her throat. “So,” she starts, “um. What’s it like being in the Resistance?”

Jessika’s face seems to glow. She sits up straight, removing her hands from under her chin. “It’s amazing,” she says. She looks like she did when she was telling Poe a story earlier. “Really, I know all of us would say that, but it’s because it’s true. We’re really making a difference. The First Order acts like we’re just a minor inconvenience, but they know how dangerous we are to them. I mean, we just destroyed one of their most important weapons! There was this one time, Poe and I-” She stops herself, looking a little bit embarrassed. “Sorry. Don’t let me ramble,” she says, sheepishly.

“No, please, go on! I’d love to hear your story,” Rey says, reaching out to touch Jess’s hand, encouraging her to continue. Jessika doesn’t look down; she doesn’t need to look down. The feeling of Rey’s hand on her own is enough to make her forget what she had been saying.

“I’ll tell you some other time,” Jess assures her. “Tell me about yourself.”

Rey shifts a bit, looking uncomfortable. She _really_ needs to get used to people caring, at some point soon. “What about me?” she asks.

Jessika shrugs, and silently notes that Rey does not move her hand. “Anything. I’d really like to get to know you.”

“Okay,” Rey says, and tries not to think too much about the fact that Jess doesn’t move her hand, either. “Let’s see… I used to be a scavenger on Jakku, but now I’m… here.” Rey cringes as Jessika stifles a laugh. For someone who has been through so much in the past few weeks, her description of her life is...lacking.

“I know that,” Jess says, and she can’t hide the amusement in her voice. She squints at Rey for a second, thinking. “What’s your favorite color?”

“Green,” Rey answers, without hesitation. For a moment, she gets lost in memories. Stepping out of the Millennium Falcon, staring out at a beautiful forest in front of her, the air cool and fresh and clean.

It’s a sweet memory, until she thinks about Han Solo. She needs to think about something else. “Yours?” she asks.

“Hm… pink, I think. Pink like the clouds when the sun sets.”

“You like sunsets?” Rey says.

Jessika nods. “Never get tired of them.” She shifts, moving her other hand to grab Rey’s forearm, the beginnings of an idea in her head. “Do you?”

“They’re beautiful,” Rey says. She furrows her brow, thinking. “I don’t think I’ve had the chance to watch one since I left Jakku.”

Jessika bites her lip to keep herself from saying something embarrassingly enthusiastic, and she looks Rey up and down. This is her chance.

“Are you free tonight?” she asks. “We could watch the sunset together, tonight.”

Without missing a beat, Rey replies, “I’d love to."

“So...it’s a date?” Jess says, tilting her head to one side and smiling at Rey.

Rey gulps, feeling for a second like she can’t breathe. Some part of her feels like this isn’t really happening, that this is just some silly- albeit _amazing-_ dream she’s having while she tries to forget about Han Solo being dead, about Finn being in a coma, about her family. She wants to pinch herself, but the feeling of Jessika’s hand touching hers is enough for her to know that they’re both really there.

“It’s a date.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are starting !! to happen !!! sorry that this took me a while to update; i've been pretty busy and i've been trying to find a way to make this seem Less Cheesy, or at least less like i'm Totally projecting my lesbian feelings onto rey. anyways i'm gay and i hope you like this


End file.
